On babysitting children who are potty training

This last week I went to St. George to hang out with my sister. One day, she had to take my nephew, Clayton, to the dentist. I decided to take Easton (my 3-year-old nephew) to the park. Megan had him go to the bathroom before, so I figured we would have no bathroom issues. FALSE.
After about 30 minutes, Easton runs up to me and yells, "Maren, I have to go poo!" All of the other people sitting around me began to laugh at the horrified look on my face. I ask, "Easton, can you wait like 20 minutes until your mom gets here?" to which he replies, "No, I have a lot of poo."
CRAP (literally).
So we go to the one stall bathroom. Now, I'm not sure the protocal for when kids who can't wipe themselves go to the bathroom, so I ask, "Easton, what do I do? Do you want me to wait outside or what?" He says, "No, stay in here but turn around so you can't see my butt."
Fine.
He climbs on to the toilet...backwards. The kid poos sitting down backwards so he is facing the wall.
Fine.
So he starts to do his business, and in the meantime, he begins to have a conversation with me. He tells me what his poo is like, how much there is, etc.
Gross.
15 MINUTES LATER...."Maren, I'm done!"
I ask Easton if I wipe him or if he can wipe himself. "I can't do it. You do it." is his response.
So I tell Easton to hold on to the toilet handle (since he is sitting backwards) and lift himself up so I don't have to touch him. I wiped that kid down as quickly and with as little contact as possible.
So he gets off the toilet so I can put his pants back on and he starts running around in circles. I'm yelling at Easton to hold still so we can get the heck out of there. Then he tells me the ground is cold. I look down and the kid had taken his shoes off during his poo. So we quickly get his shoes on and the rest of his clothes.
We finally leave the bathroom. About halfway back to the park, Easton yells, "I left my pinecones in the bathroom!"
What?
We go back to the bathroom and during his poo, he has unloaded rocks and pinecones from his pocket and put them on the side of the toilet.

My kids will come out potty trained and wiping their own rears. Thanks for the memories Easton.